So after some of this,
And three trips to Home Depot in 48 hours, we have a newly built, assembled and upholstered dining room set.
The dining room decor could use still some work, but I'm thrilled to have a real table and chairs! (We were previously using this awful set of Ikea chairs that I am pretty sure I called "the chairs of Satan" in a moment of desperation. Yeah, they were bad.)